The one where everyone finds out
by LoonyGleek
Summary: Based from the Friends episode: the one where everyone finds out. Fred and Hermione are in a relationship and only George is supposed to know but everyone starts to find our and so Luna concocts a plan to force them to come out with their relationship! Oneshot!


**The one where everyone finds out:**

I don't own Harry Potter or the Friends plot.

Hermione-Monica

Ginny-Rachel

Luna-Phoebe

Fred-Chandler

George-Joey

Harry-Ron

Ginny, Luna and Harry were out flying on the Hogwarts grounds one day spending quality time with each other. Harry was chasing after the golden snitch while Luna and Ginny were flying ever nearer Gryffindor towers.

"Oh look, Fred and Hermione!" Luna said pointing at the seventh year Gryffindor boys window. "Hey, Hey you guys, hey!" She waved but stopped when she saw the couple start to undress each other. "Wha- FRED AND HERMIONE! FRED AND HERMIONE!" She screamed.

"What? I know. I know. I know." Ginny said trying to shut Luna up.

"You know? OH! MY EYES! MY EYES!" Luna cried while turning and covering her eyes.

"YES I KNOW AND GEORGE KNOWS BUT HARRY DOESN'T KNOW SO YOU HAVE TO STOP SCREAMING!" Ginny screamed herself.

"Hey whats going on?" Harry asked as he came into view.

"We're just so excited that you might be quidditch captain next year!" Ginny exclaimed as she flew behind him so that he wouldnt see Fred and Hermione.

"Well, I have got a pretty good chance-" He started turning to see Luna who started 'woo'ing and flying round Harry. Ginny soon joined in.

"Come on get in here it's fun." Ginny cried and Harry followed their lead in a very girly/camp happy screaming match.

~•~•~

"So all those times when they were 'studying in the library' or 'practicing in the room of requirement'. What about the time when Hermione spent hours in her dorm talking over the magic-two-way-mirror to Viktor?" Luna questioned.

"Doin' it. Doin' it. Mirror doin' it." Ginny smiled.

George came and sat beside them in the great hall filling his plate immediately.

"George, Luna knows about Fred and Hermione." Ginny said.

George's eyes widened and he said "You mean how they're friends and nothing more?"

"George, we saw them doing it through the window. Actually no, we saw then doing it pressed up against the window." Ginny explained using her hand to signall 'pressed up against'.

"So it's over. Now enough if us know so we can tell them we know." George smiled.

"Or we can have some fun of our own." Luna suggested.

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.

"Well they don't know that we know. So whenever they say they're going to the library lets just give 'em a bunch of books to take back." Luna explained.

"Or you know what would be even better? Telling them." George said suddenly going serious at the end.

"That doesn't sound very fun." Ginny commented.

"Well then we'll make it fun. We'll do it like a barber shop quartette: 'We know, we know, we know.'" George sung the bit at the end.

"No, I wanna do Luna's thing." Ginny whined.

"No stop with all the secrets! I got their secret, I got your secret and I got secrets of my own you know!" George protested.

"You don't have secrets." Ginny denied.

"Oh yeah? Well I bet you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal!"

Ginny turned to face Luna. "So what will we do?"

"Well you can use your weapon as the 'room mate' and I will use the best tool at my disposal: my sexuality." Luna explained. "Watch."

Fred walked in and sat next the Luna, who was at Gryffindor table with Ginny and George.

"Oh hello Fred." She said in a seductive voice.

"Hey Luna." He returned. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing I can't tell you." she replied.

"Come on, Luz, you can tell me anything."

"Actually you're the one person I can't tell and the one that I want to the most."

"Ok?" He answered.

"Oh those robes look great on you the material is so soft." Luna ran her hand up Fred's arm and meets his bicep "Ooh, hello Mr. Bicep, have you been working out?"

"Well you know I like to squeeze things."

Luna broke out in hysterical giggles.

"Luna, you feeling ok?" Fred asked.

"Well you know, it's just that sometimes you don't notice what's right in front of you sipping pumpkin juice. Oh have I said too much?" She smiled playfully. "Just something to think about."

Luna leaned across the table making sure Fred could get a good look of her backside while grabbing a piece of toast. She stood up and stalked out of the great hall.

~•~•~

Fred and Hermione were lying on the grassy ground under the stars next to the lake talking.

"When did you get so cute?" Hermione asked playfully, rolling over to face Fred.

"Well my Grandfather was a wizard and my Grandmother was actually a teenie tiny little bunny." He joked cheekily.

"Oh now you're even cuter." She cried.

"Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say." Fred commented.

"What?"

"Well I think Luna is attracted to me."

"What? Not possible." Hermione disagreed.

"I'm serious I think Luna thinks I'm foxy" Fred replied.

"No, it's just that Luna's always thought you were charming in a sexless kinda way. I think you just misunderstood." She explained.

"I did not misunderstand! First she flirted then she ran her hand up my arm and touched my bicep. Why is it so hard for you to understand that Luna could be attracted to me?" Fred argued.

"No, all the girls are attracted to you! You're part bunny!"

~•~•~

Fred, Hermione, Luna and Ginny were all hanging out in the common room (Luna had snuck in using the invisibility cloak).

"Hey Mione, you wanna come to the three broomsticks with us?" Ginny asked.

"Actually I think I'm gonna return some library books. Fred, you wanna do it with me?" She answered.

"Sure I'll do it with you!" He replied cheerfully.

"Ok one second." Ginny said and she flew upstairs to her dorm.

A second later she came back with a huge bag of book balanced in her arms.

"If you could return these too that'd be great."

"I'm not sure I know where all these books go." Hermione protested.

"Oh here you go." Luna said pulling a diagram of the library out of her bag.

"Great now we can return books all night long! Yay!" Fred said sarcastically.

"Luz, we better go of we want to catch Harry and Ron." Ginny commented as she grabbed her bag and stood up.

"Bye Fred, I miss you already." Luna seductively whispered into Fred's ear as she pinched his backside.

When they left Fred turned to a bewildered Hermione.

"See, did you see that? With the inappropriate and the pinching?" He squeaked out.

"Actually I did!" Hermione cried.

"You see! Now do you believe that Luna is attracted to me?" Fred cried.

"Oh my Godric! Luna knows about us!" Hermione panicked as she spoke.

"What?"

"That's the only explanation for all this!" She declared.

"Ok but what about my bulging biceps and pinch-able - SHE KNOWS!" Fred agreed.

~•~•~

Fred and Hermione walked to the seventh year boys dormitory to find George sleeping with a stuffed penguin, which when he saw them he quickly hid under the bed.

"George! Luna knows about us!" Fred asked using his hand to indicate himself and Hermione.

"Well I didn't tell them!" George denied.

"Them? Who's them?" Hermione demanded.

"Luna and... George." He said.

"George!" She warned.

"and Ginny." George sighed. "But know it doesn't matter because you can just tell them you know they know and all the lying and the secrets will be over."

"Unless." Hermione started.

"No! Not unless." George whined.

"They think they are so slick messing with us. But y'see they don't know that we know that they know." Hermione explained.

"Ahh so the messers become the messies!" Fred cried.

"Come on you guys just think about how much fun it'll be to tell them: We know, we know, we know!" He sung the end bit like a barber shop quartette.

Fred and Hermione just looked at him like he'd gone insane.

"What?" Fred asked looking extremely confused.

"Oh that wasn't you!" George chortled.

~•~•~

Later that day George, Luna and Ginny were all sitting around the grounds next to the black lake when an owl delivered a letter onto the grass in front of them.

"Luna its for you. It's Fred's writing." Ginny said noticing the envelope.

Hello Luna,

I've been thinking about you all day. Well you know that thing you said before well I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued. Well look, George isn't going to be here tonight and I'll make sure to keep everyone else out so why don't you come over and I'll let you feel my bicep. Or maybe more...

Love

Fred.

"Oh Merlin! He wants me to go over and feel his bicep and more!" Luna cried.

"Are you joking? I cannot believe he would do that to Hermi-" Ginny started as realisation dawned on her face and she turned to George. "George, do they know that we know?"

"No." He said unconvincingly.

"George." She threatened.

"They know you know." George admitted.

"Argh I knew it!" Ginny shouted angrily.

"I would say thank Merlin everybody knows. It's finally over! But that hasn't been working for me." George said.

"Oh I cannot believe those two!" Ginny folded her arms.

"They thought they could mess with us? They're trying to mess with us?" Luna asked shocked. "They don't know that we know, they know, we know. And George you can't say anything"

"Couldn't if I wanted to." George said as he was struggling to keep up with all the 'we know's.

"I'll just write him a reply." Luna said.

"Alright, alright wrote sexy." Ginny instructed.

Dear Fred,

I'd love to come by tonight. Shall we say around seven? Good, I'm really looking forward to you and I doing the deed.

Love Luna.

~•~•~

"Show time!" Ginny clapped her hands as she helped prepare Luna for her 'date'.

"Gin, could you get me some perfume? and George could you get me some firewhisky and glasses?" Luna asked.

"Here." Ginny said as she sprayed perfume for Luna to walk through.

George then handed Luna two mugs and some vinegar.

"Thanks but glasses that do not have handles and are glass" Luna said. "and firewhisky that is not vinegar. Why do you even have that up here?"

"Dunno it belongs to Romilda." Ginny shrugged.

~•~•~

"Alright you'll do great." Hermione told Fred. "Just make her think that you wanna do it with her and it'll totally freak her out."

She then sprayed perfume into Fred's mouth and Fred grimaced.

"Ok so how far am I going to have to go with her?" Fred questioned sounding worried.

"Relax, she's going to give in way before you do." Hermione replied confidently.

"How do you know?" He wondered.

"Because you're on my team and my team ALWAYS wins." She said loudly.

"At this?"

"Just go get some!" Hermione quickly kissed Fred and ran to hide in the bathroom.

~•~•~

"Ok Luz I'm going to try and listen and I'll be right here." Ginny commented as she and Luna stood outside the seventh year boys dorm.

"Ok." Luna said.

"Oh wait." Ginny instructed as she opened Lunas top button.

"Good idea." Luna congratulated but when Ginny went to open a second said "Don't give away the fun."

Ginny hid round the corner as Luna knocked on the door.

"Luna." Fred greeted seductively when he answered the door.

"Fred." Luna matched his tone.

"Come on in." He welcomed.

"I was going to." Luna replied as she sauntered in. **"I brought some firewhisky would you like some?"**

**"Sure."**

**"So here we are. Nervous?" She asked with a little hint of hope.**

**"No you?" He asked in return.**

**"No. I want this to happen." Luna said matter-of-factly as she poured the firewhisky.**

**"So do I." Fred agreed as they clinked their glasses together and took big long gulps until their glasses were empty. "I'm gonna put on some music."**

**Celestina Warbeck started playing and Luna smirked seeing an opputunity.**

**"Maybe I'll dance for you." She purred.**

**She swayed her shoulders back and forth as she neared Fred. Then she threw her arms so that they were hovering above his shoulder and continued to dance.**

**"You look good." Fred lied through his bare teeth.**

**"Thanks. Y'know when you say things like that it makes me want to just rip that Weasley sweater right off you." She flirted.**

**"Well why don't we move this over to the bed?" He asked.**

**"Really?" Luna asked shocked that he was so forward.**

**"Oh! Do you not want to?" Fred said triumphantly.**

**"No I just want to... Take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me."**

**"Well that would be nice." He stuttered nervously. "I'll go get the lotion.**

**He indicated towards the bathroom and dashed into it.**

**"This is totally getting out of hand. She wants me to rub lotion on her." Fred informed Hermione when he entered the bathroom.**

**"She's bluffing." Hermione replied surely.**

**"She's not backing down. She went like this." He imitated Lunas crazy arm movements.**

**~•~•~**

**"He's not backing down. He's gone to get lotion." Luna told Ginny when she went into the hallway.**

**"Its Fred come on you can take him. Don't you remember when you scared him using only your words?" Ginny reminded.**

**"Aw man aren't you guts done yet?" George asked coming up the stairs. "I wanna lie in my bed."**

**"George, just look at it this say: the sooner Luna breaks Fred the sooner this is all over." Ginny tried to convince George.**

**"Ooh I like that. Oh show him your bra, he's afraid of bras can't work 'em." George said and then using this hand he quickly nocked Lunas buttons so that her bra was on show.**

**"Hey you didn't rip off any buttons." Luna commented as he shrugged proudly.**

**"It's not my first time." He said as Luna walked back inside.**

**~•~•~**

**"You go out there and you seduce her 'til she cracks." Hermione ordered.**

**"Wait a second." He muttered then after looking around added. "Did you clean up in here?"**

**Hermione then handed Fred some lotion and shoved him out the door.**

**"Oh your going?" Fred queried Luna as he saw her lingering by the door.**

**"Not without you love-er." Luna purred seductively.**

**She then looked down at her bra and back to Fred and said "So, this is my bra."**

**"It's very very nice" He commented nervously as she wafted towards him. "I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex."**

**"You should be." Luna said boldly. "I'm very bendy. I'm gonna kiss you know."**

**"Not if I kiss you first." Fred challenged.**

**Luna placed her hand on Fred's waist and Fred did the same to her only to switch hands. She then, using her other hand, grabbed his backside and pulled him against her. Fred- who was apparently unsure of where to put his other hand- let his hand Luger above Lunas breast for a moment before moving to her shoulder. She giggled girlishly.**

**"Well I guess there's nothing left to do but kiss." He commented after they could no longer put it off.**

**"Here it comes, our first kiss." She replied.**

**They slowly moved together and Fred closed his eyes and their lips met. Lunas stayed open and she quickly dominated the kiss by pushing her tongue into his mouth.**

**"Ok. Ok. Ok. Fine. Fine. You win!" Fred cried in defeat. "I can't have sex with you."**

**"Ha and why not?" She pushed further in triumph.**

**"Because I'm in-love with Hermione!" He admitted.**

**Upon hearing this Hermione came from out of the bathroom and George and Ginny entered from the hallway.**

**"Your- what?" Luna cried in shock.**

**"Love her. That's right. I love her. I love her. I love her." He shouted pointing at Hermione over and over again.**

**Fred put his hands on Hermiones waist and she placed hers on his arms.**

**"I love you Hermione." He told her sweetly.**

**"I love you too Fred." She replied and wrapping her arms around his neck pulled him down for a kiss.**

**"I just- I just thought you guys were doing it I didn't know you were in-love." Luna sighed looking incredibly happy.**

**"Dude." George said with a stupid smile on his face.**

**"And hats off to Luna. Quite the competitor." Fred congratulated as he shook Lunas hand. "And may I say: your breasts are still showing."**

**"Merlin!" Luna said as she quickly re-buttoned her shirt.**

**"Alight, so that's it it's over everybody knows." George said relieved.**

**"Actually Harry doesn't." Hermione said.**

**"Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet." Fred added.**

**Hearing this George immediately lost his smile.**

**~•~•~**

**The next day Harry was flying around and noticed something from the seventh year boys dorm.**

**"What- no. What are you doing? GET OFF MY SISTER!" He yelled angrily.**

**He landed to the ground and quickly ran to the Gryffindor common room and tore up to the seventh year boys dorm.**

**"Fred! Fred! I saw what you were doing through the window! I saw what type were doing to my sister! Now get out here!" He shouted through the locked door.**

**~•~•~**

**Fred and Hermione bolted up upon hearing Harry's angry shouts. Hermiones school shirt was un-buttoned half way and Freds clothing was dishevelled.**

**"Listen, we had a good run what was it four-five months? That's more than some people have in a lifetime." Fred commented in a panicked voice. "So goodbye. Take care. Bye bye now." **

**He kissed Hermione quickly and dashed to the window in an attempt to escape.**

**"What are you doing?" She demanded.**

**"Oh I'm going on an escape route." He replied.**

**"Come on Fred. Come on I can handle Harry." She said as she dragged him over to the door and unlocked it.**

**"Hey Harry what's up bro?" Hermione asked trying to sound nonchalant.**

**Harry made a run for Fred who ran around the beds trying to get away from him. Harry stopped when Hermione intervened and blocked his path to Fred.**

**"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" He demanded.**

**"What's going on?" Ginny asked as she and Georgecame running into the room.**

**"Well I think- I think... Harry knows about me and Hermione." Fred answered.**

**"Dude, he's right there." George hissed.**

**"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! HERMIONES LIKE MY SISTER! MY FRIEND AND MY SISTER! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS" Harry yelled.**

**"Look we're not just messing around!" Fred snapped. "I love her. I'm in love with her."**

**"I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way, but it's true; I love him too." Hermione pleaded taking Harry's hand who eyed them suspiciously.**

**"My friend and my sister." He said in a sappy voice. "I cannot believe this!"**


End file.
